


Grief

by CottonCandyWhump



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Acceptance, Anger, Angst, Bargaining, Character Death, Death, Denial, Depression, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Grief, Whump, death!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 18:50:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20123176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CottonCandyWhump/pseuds/CottonCandyWhump
Summary: Everybody goes through the five stages of grief.





	1. Denial

“I’m really sorry. There was nothing we could do.”

With those words, Severide can feel his entire world falling apart. 

“No. No, you’re lying. He’s not gone! You’re lying!” Severide shouts, moving on autopilot towards the surgeon. He pulls his fist back, ready to punch the dark haired doctor. He can hear the rest of the crew shouting and he feels somebody's arms wrapping around him as his legs give out, sending him to the ground as loud sobs wrack his body.

“Nonononono,” he repeats over and over again.

He stays there, sobbing on the floor for about ten minutes until two sets of hands grab his arms and hoist him up, dragging him over to one of the hard, plastic chairs.

Kelly sits there, wondering how the hell this happened.


	2. Anger

“Why the hell did you let Casey go into that room alone!” 

Peter Mills looks up when Severide storms into the room, the look on his face only described as fury. 

“Why didn’t you go in with him?!?” Severide shouts, barely a foot away from the young man.

“He told me to wait in the hallway,” Mills defends himself. 

“Why didn’t you help him?!? Why did you let him fall?!” Kelly shouts, grabbing Mills by the collar.

“Hey!” Herrmann calls, he and Capp rushing to intervene. The two of them pull Severide back as Otis steps in between Mills and the lieutenant.

“Lieutenant!” Boden calls from his office, “Take a walk.”

Kelly scowls at the other firefighters but listens to Boden, yanking his arm out of Herrmann’s grip before storming out of the station.


	3. Bargaining

God, why couldn’t it have been me? Kelly thinks as he lays in bed. It had been two weeks since the accident and he still couldn’t sleep. Everytime he closes his eyes, he sees Casey falling through the floor, his mouth open in surprise and fear.

If I hadn’t stopped to grab that stupid dog, this wouldn’t have happened. Kelly rolls onto his left side, trying to get the image out of his mind of his best friends lying on the ground, his body broken and his limbs splayed out awkwardly. 

If I had made sure Mills was with Casey or if I had even just double checked the stability, Matt would still be here telling me to get over myself. Kelly laughs bitterly for a few seconds before he sighs, closing his eyes and waiting for the nightmares that would inevitably follow.


	4. Depression

As Kelly went about his daily tasks, he was somewhat curious about the lack of… well anything. He wasn’t angry or even sad. He was just empty. He thought about it for a few seconds longer before deciding that ultimately, it wasn’t worth it. 

So he went about his day with this new feeling of emptiness. He didn’t have enough energy to joke around with the crew, instead opting to hide out in his office, staring at the ceiling and wishing it would just fall, crushing him. At least then he would be able to feel something.


	5. Acceptance

“Hey Case. It’s been so long since everything happened and I’m really sorry for not visiting. I’m sorry about a lot of things actually. I’m sorry I wasn’t with you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m really sorry for not having your back like I promised I would.”

Kelly takes a deep breathe before sitting down in the wet grass, his finger tracing the name on Casey’s grave.

“We have a new candidate, Malek Kane. I’ve never wanted to punch a kid more. He’s a complete slacker, he has no respect for the chain of command and he can’t cook for shit. Herrmann told him to clean the rig yesterday and the kid just looked at him and said, ‘Why don’t you do it yourself?’. Boden was pissed. I don’t think the kids going to last another week.”

“I miss you, buddy. You and Andy. It hasn’t been the same since everything happened.”

Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Squad 3. Convenience store fire.

Severide’s radio crackles to life and he’s reminded that he’s still on shift. 

“Sorry, Matt. I have to go. I’ll be back this weekend, though.”

He spares his friend’s grave one last look before he heads down the hill for the squad rig.


End file.
